LayarHijau.com – Back in November 2024, a video clip resurfaced featuring Chinese actor Xiao Zhan answering a lighthearted interview question: what if his future partner can't cook? Without hesitation, he smiled and replied, "It doesn't matter—because I can cook."
His simple answer triggered vastly different reactions between female netizens in China and those in Indonesia. In China, many saw his words as a gesture of love and willingness to share domestic duties. Meanwhile in Indonesia, the response was more practical—and humorous: “Just order food, he's rich anyway!”
Xiao Zhan and the Husband Material Archetype
In the same interview, Xiao Zhan was also asked about the Sichuan slang word “耙儿” (bā er), which refers to a man who is "afraid of his wife." Rather than seeing it as an insult, Xiao Zhan called it “cute”, saying:
"Outside, I’ll stand tall and protect her from wind and rain. But at home, I’ll love her in every way."
Many young women in China saw this as a major green flag—mature, respectful, and emotionally present. Reactions on platforms like Weibo and Xiaohongshu included comments like:
"A man like this? Marry him today."
The Indonesian Response: From Romance to Logistics
When the same video circulated in Indonesia, however, the reactions shifted tone entirely:
“He’s rich, just hire a chef.”
“Just use a food delivery app, problem solved.”
“I can only boil water, but I can make you happy.”
Rather than focusing on romance or emotional support, many Indonesian commenters—both women and men—centered their reactions on practical solutions made possible by wealth. Cooking wasn’t seen as a love language, but as a task that could be outsourced.
This reflects a broader cultural pattern found in Indonesia’s TikTok debates, where many Gen Z women openly say they don’t want to cook, don’t want to be full-time wives, and sometimes not even work—but still expect their male partners to be financially well-off and responsible for monthly expenses. In response, some men express frustration, feeling increasingly pressured to meet high, one-sided expectations.
From Screen to Reality: “Ideal Men” in Chinese Dramas
Interestingly, these values didn’t emerge in a vacuum. Over the past few years, Chinese dramas have increasingly featured male leads who are gentle, emotionally available, good at cooking, and supportive of their partner’s career.
But contrary to assumption, these dramas did not create the expectations—they responded to them.
As more young women in China demanded equality and emotional maturity in relationships, drama writers started shaping male characters to reflect those values.
“These portrayals aren’t fantasies—they’re reflections of what modern women actually want,” said a researcher from East China Normal University in 2023.
Once these new male characters gained popularity, they began to reinforce public expectations. Young women found validation in what they had previously only hoped for quietly. Comments like “If drama characters can do this, why not real men?” became increasingly common online.
Some standout “ideal men” in recent Chinese dramas include:
Gu Wei (Xiao Zhan) in The Oath of Love – a doctor who bakes for his girlfriend.
Song Sanchuan (Wu Lei) in Nothing But You – massages his injured partner, supports her emotionally and professionally.
Mo Qingcheng (Tan Jianci) in Love Me Love My Voice – replicates famous recipes despite a busy hospital job.
Jiang Chengyi (Johnny Huang) in Love Song in the Winter – comes from a family where men traditionally do the cooking.
Shi Yan (Dylan Wang) in Only for Love – a CEO who pushes his girlfriend to pursue her career dreams.
Sang Yan (Bai Jingting) in The First Frost – quietly supports his longtime crush with small acts of love like cooking.
While Gen Z women are drawn to these “healing boyfriend” types, older women in China often see them as unrealistic. For them, characters like Zhou Bingkun from A Lifelong Journey—who is flawed but reliable—feel more grounded.
Research Says: Shared Tasks, Shared Values
According to a 2023 study by East China Normal University, 67% of Chinese Gen Z women say they want a partner who shares domestic tasks—not just to lighten the load, but because it reflects empathy and emotional responsibility.
In Indonesia, meanwhile, a 2022 survey by Jakpat shows that while Gen Z women are becoming more open to equal partnerships, financial expectations still dominate. Even when both partners work, men are still expected to handle all major financial responsibilities.
How Adults React: Women and Men Aged 24–34 in China and Indonesia
Among women aged 24–34, reactions are more grounded.
In China, this group values romantic gestures like cooking not for the act itself, but for what it symbolizes: care, shared commitment, and presence in the relationship. What matters more is whether a man has clear life direction and long-term reliability. Idealized characters still attract admiration, but grown-up women look for signs of consistency, not just sweet words.
In Indonesia, women in this age group are also more realistic. While financial stability remains a top priority, they now seek emotional presence, teamwork, and mutual respect. Xiao Zhan’s romantic gesture of cooking is appreciated—but only if it comes with security and seriousness.
A study by Katadata Insight Center (2022) found that 64% of Indonesian women aged 25–34 value their partner’s direct involvement in domestic duties—not because they can’t afford help, but because it shows real care and love.
What about the men?
In China, men in this age group are caught between two worlds: the patriarchal norms they grew up with, and the rising demand for emotional partnership. Some rise to the challenge, learning to cook, express vulnerability, and share chores. Others feel confused or resistant, unsure how to navigate the shift.
In Indonesia, financial pressure weighs heavily on men. They’re expected to be providers—even when women also work. Many express fatigue or bitterness online, saying, “We have to be rich, patient, romantic, good at cooking, and emotionally intelligent all at once.”
Despite differences, both societies are witnessing a subtle shift: a growing number of men now embrace partnership over domination—not because they’re forced to, but because they see value in it.
A Bigger Question: Is Cooking Just a Task… or Something More?
If cooking and housework can be outsourced to domestic help or apps, does that mean we shouldn’t do them ourselves?
Or is that exactly why they matter—not for efficiency, but because they show our willingness to love, care, and share life together?
Conclusion
Xiao Zhan’s gentle comment about cooking may have seemed simple, but the reactions it sparked reveal much deeper truths.
For some, it’s a sign of love.
For others, just a job that money can solve.
But underneath it all lies a question:
Are we willing to show up for our partners—not just with words, but with time, care, and action?